Lonely Nights

Aloha,

Well tonight is the 2nd night in a row that I've been alone. Tomorrow night will make it the 3rd. Daland is working nights a lot at his new job and doesn't get home until after 10 usually, which means he gets home pretty much right as I'm getting ready to go to bed. Tonight was particularly lonely though. No one was on facebook to chat with, nothing engrossing to watch on TV... I cooked dinner for myself, ate by myself, did the dishes by myself. Man, I feel like it would really suck to live alone all the time. It's times like these that I wish I lived close to my parents. On nights like these, I could just go over to their house and have dinner with them and just hang out until Daland got home. But here, it's just me. I go through waves of sadness, and I wonder when they will subside. I'm embarassed to say that I cry quite frequently. But I just can't help it. All of this is just so much to take. I wonder when I will really adjust... or if I ever will. I just hope that this makes me an even stronger person. But at the same time I wonder: is it worth it? When I'm at work, I don't really think about it at all. I'm enjoying the job and of course I feel very grateful for it. But when I'm all by myself, especially at night, the solitude really eats at me. Maybe once my puppy gets here it will be a little bit better when I'm alone. At least I'll have her to keep me company and I can take her for walks if I need to get out of the apartment.

I just wish that such a great opportunity didn't come with such a high price. I'd like to just pick up everyone I love back home and move them over here. That would be pretty sweet. Until then, I'll just have to try and cope the best way I can.

Needless to say... I miss everyone so much. And I can't wait to see you all again.

Love,
Chelsey