This is sort of a random post, as it doesn't really have much to do with living in Hawaii, but it's something I wanted to get off my chest. Ever since Daland and I got married, we have been bombarded with the typical question every married couple gets at some point or another:
"So, when are ya havin' kids?"
Maybe back in the 50's the primary purpose of marriage was to procreate; but, we live in a modern age now where there are more reasons to get married and to be married than to pop out a few babies! I know so many people who have already had kids or are currently pregnant that are even younger than me! Granted, I got married when I was 22, which in and of itself is very young. But honestly, marriage is a different type of commitment than having kids in my opinion. Your whole life changes when you have children. And while I've been told that the best job a woman could have is to be a mother, I just don't want that job yet. The amount of things I have done since getting married that I wouldn't have been able to do if I was saddled with a couple of kids is amazing! I traveled to Panama, I traveled to Bimini, I went to grad school, got my Master's degree, traveled back to Australia, picked up and moved to Hawaii, and the list goes on. Fact of the matter is, there are still SO many things I want to do, places I want to travel, things I want to accomplish, etc. before I commit my entire life to revolve around another human being. I want to enjoy being married to my husband before our lives completely get turned upside down by having a child. I want to know without a doubt that our foundation has been tested and proven solid, time and time again, before throwing a child into the mix. I want to be responsible about bringing a child into the world, especially this one. And to be honest, I'm not even sure it can be responsible anymore, with a booming global population, increasing poverty, and scarce finite resources.
Don't get me wrong- I will probably want a baby eventually, and I'm not getting down on anyone who chose or are currently choosing to become young parents. But I want to live MY life first before I take on the "best job in the world."I want to have both, and I still can because I'm young and have plenty of time. I don't want to rush into motherhood because I know I'm not ready. So for those of you who have taken on the challenge, more power to you. I fully respect that. I simply don't have a problem admitting that I just don't want the job right now. And who knows when I will. There's nothing wrong with that. I fully enjoy my life with just my husband and our dog. We can do what we want, whenever we want, no questions asked. And right now, I'm not ready to give that luxury up!
So before you ask someone when they're having kids, be mindful. First of all, it's really none of your business. And second, whatever the answer is, everyone is different so be respectful. And as for me, I can say with confidence that the topic of children will pretty much be off the table for the remainder of my 20's. That's how my parents did it, and I'll be proud to follow in their footsteps.
Whew! That felt good!
Chelsey
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